Hair Appointments: A Woman's Rant

As I sit here, waiting for my hair appointment that I booked weeks ago, frustration bubbles up inside me and I've realised something of a double standard placed on us women that I'd never thought about before until now. Why is it that as women, we are expected to meticulously plan and schedule every aspect of our lives, including something as simple as a haircut, while men can waltz into a barber shop whenever they please? I mean, seriously, why is it that us gals have to book our salon appointments weeks in advance while guys can strut into a barbershop whenever they feel like it? Who else is tired of playing the scheduling game just to get a darn haircut?

Let's be honest here, ladies. Booking a hair appointment is like trying to secure tickets to a Beyoncé concert. You have to plan weeks, sometimes months, in advance just to get a slot. Meanwhile, our male counterparts can stroll into any barbershop on a whim and get a trim without a second thought. Where is the fairness in that? I don't know about you, but I've had it up to here with the whole rigmarole of planning my life around a haircut. It's like trying to crack a secret code just to get a chop. Meanwhile, the dudes are chilling, walking in and out of barbershops like it's no big deal.

It's not just about the inconvenience; it's about the underlying message this discrepancy sends. It's a reminder that our time is not as valued, that our needs are secondary in comparison to men's. It's infuriating, to say the least.

And don't even get me started on the whole process of finding a new hairdresser. It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack. We spend hours scouring through reviews, asking for recommendations, and finally settling on someone who may or may not understand what we want (I don't want to follow "hair trends" just because they're "in" and "trendy at the moment", Barbara- I want to feel like myself- I don't just do something because it's trendy, because I don't want to be looking back and years to come and be going "I only styled it like that to follow a trend") . And then, once we find that elusive unicorn of a hairdresser, we have to pray to the scheduling gods that they have an opening in the next century. It's enough to make you want to pull your hair out yourself—oh wait, that's what we're trying to prevent! Meanwhile, men can saunter into any barbershop, plop down in the nearest chair, and emerge a new man in less time than it takes us to get an opening in the first place- it's a double standard that needs to be addressed, and something that I wish female hairdressers were open to, just as male barbers are.

I do understand that more women might want a colour and a style than the average man does (and hairdressers scheduling colour/dye times because they can take quite a while), but if I want to simply go just to get my hair cut and *maybe* styled, *not* coloured or dyed (I've never dyed my hair in 22 years, and I'll proudly embrace every strand of grey that decides to make an appearance.)- why can't I just walk in to a hairdresser when I please the way a man can with a barber? Why do I have to book in advance? If it's to do with hair length.... a lot of men have long hair and can just waltz into a barber without being turned away, so why can't us women with long hair waltz (also, there are women with short hair too, who still have to book into the hairdresser whereas men can waltz into the barber) into the hairdresser rather than having to schedule our lives and plans around hair appointments? It's as if the hair industry assumes that every woman who walks through the salon doors is in dire need of a complete makeover, while men just need a quick snip and they're good to go.

Why, indeed, must I meticulously plan my life around a haircut appointment when all I want is a simple trim? The argument about hair length holds no water when men with flowing locks can breeze into a barber without so much as a second glance whereas us women with the same hair length can't do the same. And let's not even entertain the idea that women with short hair somehow have it easier. Our short-haired sisters are in the same boat, having to schedule their lives around hair appointments while guys with short hair just breeze through the barber's door like it's no big deal .Women collectively are all stuck in the same scheduling dilemma regardless of our hair length or style preferences, and I refuse to accept this status quo any longer. Why should we be forced to adhere to archaic scheduling norms that favour one gender over another? We deserve the same level of convenience and flexibility when it comes to our hair care routines. Enough is enough. I refuse to be held hostage by this system. I want the freedom to walk into a hairdresser whenever I please, just like my male counterparts do at barbershops across the street. I want to reclaim the power to decide when my hair gets cut, without having to consult a calendar weeks in advance. It's not just about convenience. It's about the message this whole system sends. It's like our time isn't as valuable, our needs aren't as important. And let's be real, it's not like every woman who walks into a salon is looking for a full-on makeover. Some of us just want a trim, a simple snip to keep things tidy. But nope, gotta book an appointment like it's a presidential visit.

So, here's to all the women who have had enough of booking appointments weeks in advance. Here's to the ones who dream of a world where we can walk into a salon on a whim and be treated with the same respect and urgency as our male counterparts. It's time to demand change and reclaim our time. And to all the hairdressers out there, I implore you: let us women walk in when we please. Trust us to know what we want for our own hair, whether it's a simple trim or a complete transformation. It's time to break free from the shackles of scheduled appointments and embrace a future where gender equality reigns supreme, even in the realm of haircare. Who's with me?

Also, just wanted to point something out- I do realise some of the ways I've phrased this may unintentionally come across as me demonising men which is *not* the intention at all- me addressing this double standard isn't about me fostering any misandry or disdain towards men. In fact, it's quite the opposite- I'm *strongly* opposed to prejudice/hatred of either gender. Me addressing this issue is simply about recognising and rectifying a systemic issue that unfairly impacts women. As a woman, I have no qualms about admitting my love and appreciation for men. I cherish the men in my life and strive to call out misandry wherever it rears its ugly head. However, that doesn't mean turning a blind eye to the inequalities that exist, especially when they directly affect my own gender. The frustration I express towards the disparity in hair appointment scheduling isn't born out of resentment towards men, but rather out of a desire for equality and fairness. I love the fact that men can just walk into a barber- I feel male barbers understand more that you can't schedule your whole lives around hair appointments; in a way that I wish female hairdressers did. There is a possibility I could go to a male barber.... but there's a big problem with that- 1) I'm not male- so they could refuse me entry, and 2) my hair is quite long... I think male barbers are only equipped to deal with shorter hair. However, having said that, there's a male barber shop across the road from my current hairdressers, and I see plenty of males with long hair walking out of there.... so it's interesting- long haired guys can walk into the barbers whenever they please but us long-haired gals can't walk into a hairdresser salon whenever we please.

Just let me be clearer: addressing this issue isn't about pitting men against women or fostering animosity between the sexes. It's about challenging the current unjust system and advocating for a more equal society where everyone, irrespective of gender, has the same opportunities and freedoms. After all, true progress is about lifting each other up, not tearing each other down.

So here's the deal: it's time for a change. Let's demand the same freedom and flexibility that guys have. Let's reclaim our time and our autonomy. Because at the end of the day, it's not about hating on guys—it's about standing up for ourselves and saying, "Hey, we deserve better." Who's with me? 🙋‍♀️

And let's not forget another layer of frustration: the dreaded small talk. As an autistic person, going to the hairdresser's is like walking into a social minefield. I'm there for a cut, not a chit-chat, yet the expectation for idle gossip and banter hangs thick in the air.

For me, navigating social interactions can be challenging enough without the added pressure of maintaining a conversation while someone's snipping away at my hair. But if I dare to retreat into silence and focus on the magazine in front of me, I risk being labeled as "difficult" or "standoffish."

It's a lose-lose situation. Either I force myself to engage in small talk, feeling like a fish out of water the entire time, or I endure the uncomfortable silence, bracing myself for the judgmental glances and whispered comments.

And let's be real here, why should my ability or willingness to engage in small talk be a measure of my character or likability? I'm there to get my hair cut, not to audition for a spot on a talk show.

So, to all the hairdressers out there, please understand that not everyone enjoys the pressure of small talk. Respect our need for space and silence, and judge us based on the quality of our haircut, not the quantity of our conversation. After all, isn't that what really matters in the end? Even if by some stroke of luck I'm not bombarded with unwanted small talk, there’s a possibility that I actually don't like the haircut I've received, but I still feel obligated to plaster a fake smile on my face and mutter a half-hearted "thanks."

It's like there's an unspoken rule that you must express gratitude, regardless of how you truly feel about the outcome. Maybe it's out of politeness or fear of confrontation, but either way, it leaves me feeling trapped in a cycle of insincerity.

And let's not forget the internal struggle of debating whether it's worth mentioning my dissatisfaction or just gritting my teeth and pretending everything's peachy keen. It's a delicate dance of preserving the fragile balance between being assertive and avoiding conflict.

So there I am, walking out of the salon with a haircut I'm not thrilled about, forcing a smile and mentally preparing myself to endure the awkward grow-out phase until my next appointment. It's a familiar scenario for many of us, and one that highlights the complexities of navigating social norms in a world that often feels like it's not built for us.