Men's Day- Jameela Jamil style (parody)

 Oh, wow, lads, it’s International Men’s Day! Are we all supposed to clap and cheer now? Don’t trip over yourselves celebrating, because here’s the tea: every bloody day is International Men’s Day. You’ve had centuries of statues, holidays, and history books dedicated to you, but sure—let’s give you one official day to feel extra special.

But wait, you’re upset because it doesn’t get the same attention as International Women’s Day? Aw, bless your fragile egos. Let me guess: this is the patriarchy’s fault too? Oh, wait—it actually is! Everything wrong with men’s lives is because of your beloved, self-made patriarchy, the gift that keeps on taking.

• Suicide rates? That’s on the patriarchy, love, for telling you that emotions are for weaklings.
• Men’s health ignored? Patriarchy again, prioritizing profit and power over care.
• Struggles in custody battles? Classic patriarchy nonsense, deciding that childcare is “women’s work” and shoving you out the door.

You see, lads, misandry isn’t real. I know, shocking, right? It’s the patriarchy playing dress-up as feminism while smacking you in the face. But instead of blaming women or feminism (the only reason anyone’s even talking about equality), maybe turn your anger to the dusty old system that’s made your lives miserable since time immemorial.

And for those of you moaning that no one posts about International Men’s Day like they do for Women’s Day, do you know why? Because women need that day to claw back the tiniest bit of recognition after centuries of being erased. Meanwhile, you’ve got statues, national holidays, and entire religions propping you up all year round. So, forgive us if the world doesn’t throw a parade when you ask for one extra day on top of the empire you’ve already got.

If you want things to be better for men, do you know what you should do? Smash the bloody patriarchy. Rip it apart brick by brick, and maybe then you’ll realize what feminists have been telling you all along: this isn’t about men vs. women, it’s about dismantling a system that’s screwing everyone.

So, happy International Men’s Day. Now stop crying about how no one bought you a cake and go fix the mess your system made. You’ll thank me later.

Note from Christina- had you fooled there, didn't I? Of course I care about men and misandry- this was just parodying the way Jameela speaks.