Leap Day: are the proposals an outdated tradition?

 In a world where equality is championed and pressure to conform to traditional gender roles is increasingly questioned, why do we still cling to outdated traditions when it comes to marriage proposals?

The stereotype is that men traditionally propose to women, but that Leap Day, once every four years, is when the women can propose to the men... but really, is that not an extremely outdated tradition? It's 2024- us ladies can propose to a man any day we like.... why should female proposals be limited to one day every 4 years? It's ridiculous that leap days are supposedly the one time women can propose to men. Let's break free from that limited thinking- we can propose any day we want. It shouldn't be a 'taboo' for a woman to propose to a man outside of a Leap Day. Likewise, a man can still propose to a woman if he wishes to on a leap day (even though that's viewed as *the* day for a woman to propose).... by treating Leap Days as 'role reversal' days, aren't we internalising the outdated message that it's always the man's job to propose?

I'll tell you something that annoys me to no end- when people ask men "when are you going to pop the question?", assuming that proposals are solely men's jobs. It's the same when it's women who are all "why hasn't he proposed yet?" Uh, hello, you can ask too! If you're that tired of waiting for your male partner to propose, why don't you propose to him yourself? Is it really that big of a deal if a female-to-male proposal occurs on a day other than a leap day? If so, why? 

Proposals shouldn't be a gendered thing- they shouldn't be about tradition or about who's "supposed" to do what- they should be simply about love. Whether it's a man proposing to a woman (even if it's a Leap Day where it's "supposed to be" the woman's duty to propose to a man), or a woman proposing to a man (even if it's not on a Leap Day- the day where it's "supposed" to be our duty to propose to a man), it shouldn't matter. So let's ditch the old-school mindset and ditch that outdated tradition. Why is a woman proposing to a man, in 2024's society, still seen as something so significant or so taboo that it should only be done once every 4 years?

To all the ladies out there- whether it's a leap day or not, if you want to get married and you're thinking 'why isn't he popping the question', ask the question yourself! It shouldn't matter who's doing the asking if you truly love each other, should it? It's just an outdated societal "rule" that men are the askers, women are the answerers, just like it's an outdated societal "rule" that the Leap Day is a role reversal where the women are the askers, and the men are the answerers. Because let's face it-  a man can be an asker or an answerer any day they like, a woman can be either an asker or an answerer any day they like. You shouldn't have to conform to those outdated norms just because it's "tradition"- waiting for that one specific day to do the asking is just silly in my opinion, because it shouldn't matter who's doing the proposing, who's getting down on one knee etc, if you truly love each other.

It's a really big bugbear of mine- a major pet peeve. That tradition tied to leap days where it's significant because "women can propose to the men" is ridiculously outdated- it's 2024 and we can propose any day we damn well please. Why should we confine something as beautiful as a marriage proposal to just one day every four years? Limiting it to one day that only rolls around every few years is ridiculous. We're women, we're independent, and perfectly capable. The idea that we have to wait for a leap day to roll around just to ask that big question is quite infantilising- it's a relic from the time when gender roles were much more rigidly defined, because back then, it was very much a "men are in charge" world and "proposals are a man's job", and so the leap days were a little quirky opportunity to reverse that and do a "women are in charge" style thing. However, we've come a long long way as a society since then, and by perpetuating this idea that a leap day is the only acceptable time for us women to propose, we're reinforcing outdated gender stereotypes (and restricting our freedom), which I thought was something that we were trying to get away from? In today's world that supposedly values equality and inclusivity, why are we so unwilling to drop such an outdated tradition?

I'm not saying that "women should always be the ones to propose instead of men"- I'm saying that the concept of who proposes shouldn't be tied to gender- there shouldn't be any stigma around either a man proposing to a woman or a woman proposing to a man. A man proposing to a woman (whether it be on Feb 29 or any other day) - fine by me; a woman proposing to a man (whether it be on Feb 29 or any other day), also fine by me. I just think we shouldn't be ingraining that mindset into ourselves that Feb 29 is the *only* day we can do such a thing- it's extremely outdated to think it is. The way society views leap days as the only acceptable time for women to propose is seriously outdated, and frankly, it's time to ditch that mindset. We're living in 2024, not 1024. We've made so many wonderful strides in breaking down traditional gender roles and advocating for equality, yet this leap day tradition still persists, sneaking its way into our modern consciousness, and reinforcing those very gender norms we've been fighting against. It's absurd, isn't it? We've worked so tirelessly to eradicate the idea that certain roles and behaviours are strictly assigned based on gender, only to turn around and still uphold this outdated tradition- we're taking two steps forward and one step back.

But you know what? Screw societal norms- I don't care if it's not "socially acceptable" to propose to a man outside of a leap day- if I truly love a man, I'd be perfectly happy to be the one proposing to him (and if I'm honest, I'd ensure it was on any day *but* a leap day- that tradition really bothers me)- love doesn't adhere to a calendar. and it certainly doesn't care about outdated traditions. Why should anybody feel constrained by some arbitrary date on the calendar when it comes to expressing their love and commitment? So to hell with the leap day tradition! I want to embrace a world where love knows no bounds and everybody feels empowered to propose whenever and however they damn well please. Whether that be on February 29th or any other day of the year, love is love, and it should be celebrated without reservation or restriction. Let's rewrite these archaic rules, and create a future where equality reigns supreme.