Ludicrous Element of the University Experience
It's a long one- I've done a TL;DR (too long, didn't read) bref summary right at the bottom of the page.
Here we go with the blog:
The transition to university life is often a thrilling adventure (or at least it's meant to be) marked by newfound independence, exciting courses, and the prospect of making lifelong friends. But for some students, the experience comes with a notable caveat—assigned roommates. This practice, which is very prevalent in university housing, involves pairing students with random strangers and expecting them to coexist harmoniously without any prior knowledge of one another. It may be a well-intentioned system, but for me, I think it does more harm than good. I lived at home during college and have no regrets. I guess maybe as an autistic girl, these feelings and issues are heightened, but I think it's worth mentioning them anyway because I believe for many students, the prospect of being assigned a roommate can turn this adventure into a nightmare. Whether it's the lack of control over who you live with, concerns about compatibility, or past experiences with bullying, the concept of assigned roommates can pose significant challenges and risks to students' well-being.
- My first point I wanted to mention was the unpredictable pairing- you don't know a single thing about them. Imagine walking into a room on your first day of university, excited but anxious, to meet the person you'll be sharing living space with for the next year. You exchange awkward pleasantries, maybe a few basic facts about your lives, and suddenly, you're expected to be best buddies. Assigned roommates often find themselves navigating uncharted territory, forced into a living arrangement with someone they know nothing about. That unpredictability can lead to uncomfortable and even unsafe living situations. Walking into a room on your first day of university, you're met with the realization that you'll be living with a total stranger for the next year. This unpredictability can be daunting, especially for those who thrive on stability and familiarity; especially for individuals with autism like myself- the lack of control over your living environment can make it distressing and difficult to cope.
- Then there's an obvious issue of a potential clash of lifestyles- it's one of the most glaring issues with assigned roommates; that potential for wildly different lifestyles and expectations. What if you're a night owl and your roommate is an early bird? What if you value quiet and solitude, but your roommate loves to party until the wee hours? For me personally, these disparities could create constant friction and stress, affecting not only my living conditions but also my academic performance and mental well-being.
- Assigned roommates also raise concerns about personal space and privacy. In shared living spaces, it's really important to have boundaries and respect for one another's privacy- in your own home with family, this will be the case- they understand you and what your preferences are. However, with assigned roommates, you're left hoping that your living habits and expectations align. This lack of control over my personal space would lead me to a constant feeling of intrusion and discomfort.
And then as a girl, the prospect of being randomly paired with a "cliquey mean girl" is a legitimate concern. The thought of sharing living space with someone who might not only be incompatible but also potentially hostile or judgmental adds an extra layer of anxiety to an already nerve-wracking situation. Living with someone who embodies the characteristics of a "cliquey mean girl" can create a toxic and unwelcoming environment. The constant pressure to fit in or conform to their standards can be emotionally exhausting and detrimental to one's self-esteem. It's like being thrown into a real-life version of "Mean Girls," where you're expected to navigate the social minefield without any recourse. And let's not forget the potential embarrassment and discomfort that can arise if you have period troubles or other personal issues. Living at home with family provides a safety net – you can be open about your needs and struggles, and they'll have your back. But with a stranger, it's a different story. There's a fear of judgment or awkwardness that can make it difficult to be open about your experiences and seek support when you need it most. Navigating these challenges with a stranger as your roommate can feel isolating and overwhelming. It highlights the importance of creating a supportive and understanding living environment where students feel comfortable discussing sensitive topics and seeking assistance without fear of judgment or ridicule.
Seriously, the prospect of dealing with period-related issues while sharing living space with a stranger can be incredibly embarrassing and uncomfortable. Yes, for the majority of us women, menstruation is a natural and unavoidable part of life, but discussing it openly with someone you don't know is daunting and awkward- yes, periods are only natural- it doesn't mean I want to open up to a random stranger about my period issues though- that's something that's very personal to me. Imagine having to navigate the logistics of managing your period – from storing menstrual products to dealing with cramps and other symptoms – all while sharing a confined living space with someone you've just met. The lack of privacy and personal space in shared living arrangements only amplifies these concerns. With a stranger as your roommate, there's always the risk of accidentally revealing something you'd rather keep private or oversharing; or even having *them* overshare if they're having their own period troubles- I don't need to hear it- they'll be telling me about their shitting habits next- some things are best kept quiet when it comes to conversations with random strangers. You see, with someone I know, no problem in me being open with them or them being open with me; with someone I don't know, it'd gross me out. I know periods are nothing to be grossed out about, I'm not saying that- I'm saying it'd gross me out and make me uncomfortable talking about something so personal to a random stranger- the same way it'd gross me out talking about pooping habits with a random stranger- yes it's only natural, but that doesn't mean I want to discuss such a sensitive and such a personal topic with someone I'd never met before. I have IBS, and that's something that I *really* wouldn't feel comfortable with discussing to a complete stranger, but that I'd essentially have to if I was sharing a bathroom with them.
It's a scenario that's rarely addressed but can be absolutely terrifying for those of us who deal with bowel issues Now, imagine you're someone who struggles with IBS symptoms – the cramps, the urgency, the unpredictable nature of it all. It's like living on a knife's edge, never knowing when the next flare-up might hit. Now, add to that the stress of suddenly having to share a bathroom with a random stranger. It's like a nightmare come to life, with your most intimate bodily functions laid bare for someone you barely know to witness. The fear of judgment, embarrassment, and intrusion can be paralyzing, leaving you feeling exposed and vulnerable in your own living space. Living with an assigned roommate when you have bowel issues is like playing a game of Russian roulette with your dignity. Will they be understanding and respectful of your needs, or will they make you feel like a prisoner in your own home? It's a constant source of worry and stress, with no easy answers in sight. And let's not forget the practical challenges of navigating shared living space when you have bowel issues. The need for privacy and quick access to the bathroom can be a matter of urgency, leaving you feeling like you're constantly on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop, so living with an assigned roommate when you have bowel issues like IBS can be downright terrifying. It's like being forced to confront your most intimate struggles in the most public of ways, with no escape route in sight. And until universities start taking these issues seriously and providing more support for students who deal with them, it's a problem that's only going to continue to plague those who are already struggling to make it through each day.
Living with irritable bowel syndrome can be incredibly challenging in the first place, and the thought of sharing a bathroom with a random roommate adds another layer of stress and worry to an already stressful situation. Picture this: you're in the midst of a painful flare-up, desperately needing access to the bathroom, only to find your roommate already occupying it. It's like a nightmare scenario come to life, leaving you feeling helpless and vulnerable. Now, let's add another twist to the plot: your roommate's judgmental attitude towards your bathroom habits. The fear of being shamed or ridiculed for something you have no control over can be absolutely devastating, leaving you feeling exposed and humiliated in your own living space. It's like being kicked when you're already down, with no one to turn to for support or understanding. As someone with IBS, the thought of facing this kind of judgment from a roommate is not just upsetting – it's downright soul-crushing. It's like having your struggles trivialized and dismissed by someone who should be offering you empathy and compassion. And in a moment of crisis, when you need access to the bathroom the most, it can feel like a betrayal of the highest order, so living with an assigned roommate when you have IBS is like walking a tightrope without a safety net. The fear of judgment, the uncertainty of access to the bathroom – it's enough to send anyone into a tailspin of anxiety and despair. And universities need to start taking these issues seriously and providing more support for students who deal with them, otherwise it will haunt said students for the entirety of their college experence.
The standard dormitory setup isn't a good set up for claustrophobics or for those who identify as asexual or prudish either. The confined spaces and lack of privacy in traditional dorms can raise feelings of discomfort and unease, making it difficult for students to feel safe and supported in their living environment. For claustrophobic individuals, the cramped quarters and shared living spaces can trigger intense feelings of stress, and be both physically and mentally draining. The thought of being confined to a small room with little opportunity for escape can be overwhelming, leading to heightened stress levels and a decreased sense of well-being- those tight spaces and shared living areas can feel suffocating for anyone who needs a bit more room to breathe. Similarly, for individuals who identify as asexual or prudish, the prospect of sharing living space with a roommate who has different attitudes or behaviors around sex can be deeply uncomfortable. Imagine feeling pressured to participate in conversations or activities that make you feel uncomfortable or alienated, just because your roommate has a different approach. Let's talk about how awkward it would be for someone who's asexual or prudish to end up with a super promiscuous roommate (and I don't mean that in a slut-shaming way either- I just mean that it would be really awkward). Like, talk about uncomfortable! You shouldn't have to deal with feeling pressured or judged in your own living space, especially when it comes to something as personal as your attitudes towards sex.The lack of privacy in dormitory settings can expose those students to unwanted or intrusive experiences, such as overhearing sexual activity from neighboring rooms. The sound of sex echoing through the halls can be distressing and unsettling, further contributing to feelings of discomfort and unease. Honestly, don't even get me started on the whole sound of sex echoing through the halls thing – it's a major ick factor to me, and I just think can't we all just keep that stuff behind closed doors? Hearing it from other rooms is just way too much information, if you know what I mean. Basically, standard dorms aren't always the best fit for everyone. It's about time universities started offering more options that cater to different lifestyles and preferences. Because let's face it, feeling comfortable and respected in your own living space is essential for staying sane during the college craziness. I've heard the tales, believe me! The horror stories of cramped dorm rooms, awkward roommate situations, and the not-so-subtle sounds of... well, you know. It's like a rite of passage for college students to swap these wild stories about their dorm experiences, and let me tell you, some of them are enough to make your jaw drop. From claustrophobia-inducing living spaces to unexpected encounters with overly promiscuous roommates, it's like navigating a minefield of discomfort and awkwardness. And don't even get me started on the cringe-worthy moments of overhearing the intimate escapades of neighboring rooms – talk about TMI!
Let's delve deeper into the absurdity of it all. The standard dorm setup is like a cruel joke played on students who are already struggling with their mental health, neurodiversity, or sexual orientation. It's as if universities are saying, "Hey, let's throw a bunch of random people together in tiny, cramped rooms and see what happens!" Spoiler alert: what happens is often a nightmare. For neurodivergent individuals, the lack of control over their living environment can be incredibly distressing. From sensory overload in noisy communal areas to the constant uncertainty of living with a stranger, it's a recipe for overwhelm. And then there's the major struggles faced by asexual individuals who are forced to navigate the hypersexualized college culture or prudish folks who feel uncomfortable with the casual hook-up scene. And let's talk about privacy – or rather, the complete lack thereof. Sharing a room with someone you barely know means saying goodbye to any semblance of personal space or boundaries. It's like living under a microscope, with every move scrutinized by a virtual stranger. And if you happen to be unlucky enough to have thin walls or noisy neighbors, forget about getting any peace and quiet. I personally think subjecting students to a living situation that can magnify their existing struggles and traumas is not just unfair – it's downright cruel- not everyone fits the mold of that "typical" college student, and it seems like the system is rigged against those of us who are a little bit different.
This dorm/roommate setup is a breeding ground for discomfort and downright trauma. For individuals who don't fit the narrow mold of the "typical" college student, it's like being thrust into a hostile environment with no escape route in sight. Picture this: you're a neurodivergent individual, grappling with sensory sensitivities, as well as already finding social situations difficult. Now imagine being crammed into a tiny room with a complete stranger, forced to navigate their quirks and idiosyncrasies while trying to maintain your own sanity. It's a recipe for overwhelm and meltdown, with no reprieve in sight. And let's not forget about the asexuals or prudish individuals who find themselves surrounded by a culture of casual hook-ups and sexual innuendo. The pressure to conform to this hypersexualized environment can be suffocating, leaving these students feeling alienated and misunderstood. Privacy? Forget about it. With thin walls and communal living spaces, there's nowhere to hide from the constant barrage of noise and intrusion. It's like living in a fishbowl, with every move scrutinized by your roommate and neighbors. In short, the set up is potentially harmful for anyone who doesn't fit the cookie-cutter mold of the "typical" college student. Universities need to wake up and recognize the diverse needs and experiences of their student body. Offering more inclusive and accommodating housing options isn't just a matter of convenience – it's a matter of basic human decency.
Let's shine a light on another aspect of the assigned roommate nightmare: the clash of lifestyles and values. Imagine being someone who's staunchly against drugs, smoking, or vaping, and finding yourself sharing a cramped dorm room with someone who indulges in all of that. It's not just uncomfortable – it's downright intolerable. The constant presence of substances you're vehemently opposed to can make your living space feel like a toxic environment. The smell of smoke or the sight of drug paraphernalia can trigger feelings of disgust and discomfort, leaving you feeling trapped in a space that's supposed to be your home away from home. Or let's flip the script: you're a teetotal introvert, someone who prefers quiet nights in and meaningful conversations over rowdy parties and heavy drinking. Now picture yourself sharing a room with a heavy-drinking, extroverted party animal. The clash of lifestyles couldn't be more stark. The pressure to participate in activities that go against your values and preferences can be immense, leading to feelings of alienation and isolation. It's like being forced to navigate a constant stream of discomfort and unease, with no escape in sight. In both scenarios, the assigned roommate system fails to take into account the diverse needs and values of its student body. Instead of fostering a supportive and inclusive environment, it perpetuates feelings of discord and resentment. My plea to colleges and universities is this- please wake up to the reality that one size does not fit all when it comes to housing arrangements and offer alternatives to the assigned roommate system – whether it's allowing students to choose their own roommates or providing housing options that cater to specific lifestyles and values, such as living alone or living at home – it's essential for creating a campus environment where all students feel respected, valued, and safe in their living space.
Here's even more scenarios where the assigned roommate system falls short. Picture this: you're someone who's sensitive to strong smells, and you find yourself sharing a tiny dorm room with someone who loves nothing more than indulging in pungent, smelly food. It's not just a matter of inconvenience – it's a daily assault on your senses that can make your living space feel like a battlefield.The constant onslaught of offensive odors can trigger headaches, nausea, and a general sense of discomfort, leaving you feeling like you're walking on eggshells in your own home. It's like being trapped in a never-ending game of sensory roulette, with no way to escape the olfactory onslaught.Or how about this scenario: you're a self-professed "nerd," someone who thrives on intellectual pursuits and esoteric interests. Now imagine being paired with a "jock" – someone whose idea of a good time revolves around sports, parties, and socializing. It's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole – no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to find common ground.T he lack of shared interests or values can create a gaping chasm between roommates, making it difficult to connect on even the most basic level. Instead of fostering a sense of camaraderie and mutual understanding, the assigned roommate system can just heighten feelings of isolation and alienation.In both cases, the assigned roommate system fails to recognize the diverse needs and preferences of its student body. It's like rolling the dice and hoping for the best, with no regard for the potential consequences. These universities need to acknowledge that compatibility goes beyond surface-level characteristics like age or gender. Offering alternatives to the assigned roommate system – whether it's allowing students to choose their own roommates based on shared interests and values or providing housing options that cater to specific needs and preferences – is essential for creating a living environment where all students feel respected, valued, and understood.
Maybe I worded that a bit too formally- what I'm saying is this- imagine this: you're super sensitive to smells, right? And then you find out your roommate loves to cook up a storm with the smelliest, most pungent foods imaginable. It's like a never-ending assault on your nostrils, turning your cozy dorm room into a stinky nightmare. You can practically feel the headaches coming on just thinking about it! And let's talk about the classic "nerd" vs. "jock" scenario. You're all about diving into your favorite books or getting lost in some epic gaming sessions, while your roommate lives and breathes sports and parties. It's like you're speaking completely different languages, with zero common ground to bond over. In both cases, the assigned roommate system misses the mark big time. It's like playing roommate roulette and hoping for the best, with no consideration for compatibility or shared interests. Universities need to wake up and realize that one size definitely doesn't fit all when it comes to roommates. It's about time they offered more options that actually take students' needs and preferences into account. After all, feeling comfortable and respected in your living space shouldn't be a luxury – it should be a given.
Time to dive into another aspect of the assigned roommate conundrum: the insidious influence of peer pressure. Picture this: you're paired with a roommate who's all about the party scene – late nights, wild escapades, the whole nine yards. Now, maybe that's not really your vibe, but suddenly you find yourself being pulled into their orbit, swept along by the current of their social circle. It's like a slow, steady drip, wearing away at your resolve and nudging you further and further outside your comfort zone. Maybe you start skipping class to hang out with your roommate and their friends, or you find yourself saying yes to things you'd normally steer clear of. Before you know it, you're knee-deep in a lifestyle that's completely at odds with who you are. And the thing is, it's not just about the big, obvious stuff like skipping class or partying until the sun comes up. It's the little things too – the subtle cues and expectations that come with living in such close quarters with someone else. Maybe your roommate makes offhand comments about your study habits or the way you dress, planting seeds of doubt in your mind and chipping away at your self-confidence. Before you know it, you're second-guessing yourself at every turn, wondering if maybe you should just go along with the crowd to avoid rocking the boat. It's a slippery slope, and one that's all too easy to slide down when you're living in such a tight-knit environment. So yeah, living with an assigned roommate can definitely make you more susceptible to peer pressure. It's like being caught in a whirlwind of influence, with no clear way out. And until the universities start taking this into account and offering more options for students to choose their own living arrangements, it's a problem that's only going to get worse.
Here's a particular scenario with regards to that point about peer pressure, and one that's unfortunately all too real for many college students: peer pressure to engage in sexual activity. Now, imagine you're a virgin, someone who's not intersted in sex or not quite ready to take that leap yet, and your roommate starts pressuring you to "just do it." It's like having your boundaries and values thrown out the window, with your own living space becoming a battleground for your autonomy. The pressure to conform to your roommate's expectations can feel suffocating, leaving you feeling like you have to justify your choices or risk being ostracized. Maybe you start to question whether you're being too uptight or old-fashioned, or whether you're missing out on some crucial rite of passage. It's a slippery slope, and one that's fraught with uncertainty and anxiety. And let's not forget the emotional toll of feeling coerced into something as intimate and personal as sex. It's like having your own desires and boundaries brushed aside in favor of someone else's agenda, leaving you feeling violated and powerless. Living with an assigned roommate can magnify these feelings of vulnerability and insecurity, especially when you're still trying to figure out who you are and what you want out of life. It's like being thrown into the deep end without a life raft, with no clear way to navigate the choppy waters of peer pressure.So yeah, living with an assigned roommate can definitely make you more susceptible to peer pressure, especially when it comes to something as sensitive as sexual activity. It's a sobering reminder of the importance of setting boundaries and standing up for yourself, even when it feels like the whole world is pushing against you. And until universities start taking this issue seriously and providing more support for students who find themselves in these situations, it's a problem that's only going to continue unchecked.
Assigned roommates will often face communication challenges and boundary issues due to the lack of prior knowledge about each other. It can be difficult to navigate shared living spaces and establish ground rules when you're essentially strangers. This can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and discomfort, as both roommates try to assert their preferences and boundaries without fully understanding each other's needs. Living with a randomly assigned roommate can take a significant emotional toll, especially for individuals who are neurodivergent. The constant uncertainty and lack of control over your living environment can exacerbate existing struggles and contribute to feelings of isolation and distress. Without the support of a compatible roommate or the option to choose their living situation, students may find it challenging to cope with the demands of university life. The stress and distractions caused by incompatible or challenging living situations can also have a detrimental effect on academic performance. When students are preoccupied with roommate conflicts, safety concerns, or mental health issues, it can detract from their ability to focus on their studies and succeed academically. This can ultimately undermine the goals of higher education and hinder students' long-term prospects.
I think providing options for students to live alone or stay at home during college is crucial. Recognizing that not every student thrives in a shared living environment and that personal circumstances vary greatly is essential for fostering a supportive and inclusive campus community. For some individuals, the thought of living with a stranger, whether due to concerns about compatibility, mental health considerations, or just simple personal preferences, can be overwhelming. Offering the option to live alone provides these students with a sense of autonomy and control over their living situation, allowing them to create a space where they feel comfortable and secure. Additionally, for students who don't want to live on campus, allowing them to stay at home during college can be a viable alternative. This option accommodates a diverse range of circumstances- financial constraints, family responsibilities, and again, simple personal preferences. By offering alternatives to the traditional assigned roommate system, universities can better support the diverse needs of their student body and promote overall well-being. Whether it's providing the option to live alone, stay at home, or participate in roommate matching programs based on compatibility and shared interests, empowering students to make informed choices about their living arrangements is essential for creating a positive and inclusive campus environment.
Having the option to live alone or stay at home during college should be a no-brainer. Not everyone is cool with the whole "random roommate" thing, and that's totally okay. We're all different, and what works for one person might not work for another. Plus, living alone or staying at home can be a game-changer for those of us who need our space or have unique circumstances. I mean, think about it – why should we have to roll the dice and hope we get along with whoever we're randomly paired with? It's like playing roommate roulette, and let's face it, the odds aren't always in our favor. Plus, for folks like us who might struggle with certain social situations or need a bit more control over our living environment, having that option to fly solo can make a world of difference. So yeah, let's ditch the whole "assigned roommate" thing and give students more choice and flexibility when it comes to housing arrangements. After all, college is stressful enough as it is – why add to the chaos by forcing us to live with strangers when there are better options out there? Ultimately, it shouldn't be the status quo for students to get randomly assigned roommates. Instead, universities should prioritize flexibility, choice, and respect for students' individual needs and preferences when it comes to housing arrangements. This promotes personal autonomy and well-being which leads to a more supportive and inclusive campus culture overall.
Informal TL; DR below here
Let's talk about something that's been weighing heavily on my mind lately: the absolute mess that is the assigned roommate system. Strap in, because we're about to dive into a rollercoaster ride of discomfort, anxiety, and downright horror. First up on our tour of roommate hell: compatibility – or rather, the complete lack thereof. Picture this: you're a neat freak with OCD tendencies, and you find yourself sharing a room with someone whose idea of tidiness is, well, non-existent. It's like a living nightmare, with every messy pile of clothes or unwashed dish sending you into a spiral of frustration and despair. But hey, it gets worse. Imagine being someone who's been bullied in the past, only to find yourself paired with a roommate who reminds you of your tormentor. It's like being transported back to the darkest moments of your life, forced to relive the pain and fear all over again. And let's not forget about the joys of living with someone who's a complete stranger, with wildly different lifestyles and values. Whether it's dealing with a heavy-drinking party animal or someone who's all about the casual hook-up scene, the clash of lifestyles can be suffocating, leaving you feeling like a fish out of water in your own living space. But wait, there's more! Let's talk about the delightful world of bodily functions – specifically, bowel issues like irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). Now, imagine you're someone who struggles with IBS symptoms, and you suddenly have to share a bathroom with a random stranger. It's like a nightmare come to life, with your most intimate bodily functions laid bare for someone you barely know to witness. And let's not forget the fear of judgment from your roommate, someone who may not be understanding or sympathetic to your struggles. The thought of being shamed or ridiculed for something you have no control over can be absolutely devastating, leaving you feeling exposed and humiliated in your own living space. But perhaps the cherry on top of this nightmare sundae is the insidious influence of peer pressure. Imagine being pressured into engaging in activities that go against your values and beliefs, whether it's skipping class to party or engaging in sexual activity before you're ready. It's like being caught in a whirlwind of influence, with no clear way out. So there you have it, folks: the assigned roommate nightmare in all its glory. It's like a perfect storm of discomfort, stress, nerves, and outright horror, with no easy solutions in sight. But hey, maybe there's a silver lining in all of this – the shared bond of misery that comes from surviving the college experience. After all, misery loves company, right?
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