Louis Theroux Manosphere documentary

 There's something very interesting about watching somebody who desperately wants to come across as powerful ending up revealing themselves to be deeply insecure.

I think the idea of exploring this Manosphere in a documentary is an interesting one, because I think it's fair to say it's blown up in the last few years.... I do think there are a lot of valid conversations to be had about masculinity, loneliness, men's mental health, societal expectations and stereotypes etc... but I think the way it's being done in recent years helps nobody. As an egalitarian, I have always held the view that no one gender should be considered more important than the other, that we're all on the same team, rather than an Us vs Them mentality, and on this very blog I've discussed gendered expectations and issues affecting both men and women, so pretending every young man who feels alienated is automatically evil would be a lazy analysis- I'm going to apply my same egalitarian lens as always to this. Unfortunately it seems like it's becoming a competition, and I'm sure I'll get heat from both sides of the spectrum for this review- you'll have one side thinking I'm a radical feminist (which lol), and another side thinking I'm a 'pick me' but I'm giving my honest unfiltered opinions here.

This documentary to me highlighted how a good chunk of the online manosphere who profess to be these confident all-knowing types, are actually deeply immature... HSTikkyTokky being the main embodiment- it was like watching a thirteen year old boy who'd just discovered 'sigma male' TikToks... except this guy is 24... and seemed to think being obnoxious was the same thing as being intelligent. I wasn't aware of this man before the doc- I've cut down on my social media usage considerably over the last year, so I don't know if he's popping up on algorithms frequently- but it wasn't the offensiveness that stood out to me, as unfortunately the internet is full of offensive idiots... but it was the sheer performative hollowness of it all. Every time he spoke felt like he was trying to create his own 'brand' and engineer little soundbites for viral clips... there was no depth to him in the slightest... just a bunch of bizarre philosophical nonsense about 'high value men'. And then he changed his tune in front of his mother- it really is comical.

To me he didn't come across as an 'intimidating alpha male', he came across as a cringy thirteen year old edgelord desperately trying to convince himself he is one... I found these Manosphere figures really fascinating actually- they'll market themselves as brutally honest truth-tellers, but then admit on camera that it's all just bravado for clicks... and what they don't seem to realise is that impressionable young men will come across these videos and take these messages seriously.

I don't like influencer culture in general, I find it very vapid... and the same applies here- most influencers aren't successful because they offer genuine pearls of wisdom.. they're successful because algorithms like feeding users conflict and provocation. Saying something measured and nuanced won't go viral... but telling people that women are 'biologically programmed to serve high status males' unfortunately does- despite the fact that it's exceptionally misogynistic. 

I will never dispute the existence of misandry- the issues I mentioned at the top of the blog are all issues worth focusing on and that need more support, and indeed the lack of support, and in some cases even outright dismissal, might play a part in WHY these men shift to these spaces which end up radicalising them. I don't agree with anybody ever blaming an entire gender as a collective...but you don't fight hate with hate- you don't respond with misogyny. Bitterness and contempt doesn't create healthier masculinity. If the whole point of these manosphere influencers is that they want to make men stronger, why is so much of it built around telling men they should be angry?

I think what I find ironic is that a lot of these 'anti-establishment' rebels are actually extremely conformist- they throw around the same buzzwords, use the same metrics of status, use a similar speech pattern, wear the same clothes etc... they're behaving like sheep, whilst bizarrely insisting everyone BUT them are sheep. 

It's interesting the reactions when Louis spoke to them- the faux edginess, the sneering, the constant need to provoke- these feel like people who never grew up from their adolescent stage. Masculinity shouldn't be defined through domination- if your entire identity depends on proving you're above women, above so-called 'beta males', above gay people, above weak men etc- then that doesn't exactly seem to me like somebody at ease with their own identity.

I love men. And I think the vast majority of men I know would find these manosphere types exhausting- most ordinary men aren't sitting around demanding submissive tradwives or ranking human beings on 'sexual market value'- they're just trying to navigate life. You don't help men by teaching them women are the enemy.

What I find interesting is the radicalisation of these male spaces- places that started off with men expressing loneliness, self-help content, dating advice, gym advice, ended up with their rhetoric evolving into misogyny, conspiracies, grievance politics etc... and it's a shame because of course I don't think every man watching self-improvement videos is necessarily headed towards radicalisation, but I also don't think this online ecosystems are just 'harmless jokes' as the influencers in the doc claimed, when you consider that millions of young boys are consuming this content on the daily. I liked that these grifters managed to expose themselves in the doc... 'I'm just trying to gain followers'- yeah by completely and utterly leading these young men astray... it's not just young men either... radicalisation seems to be happening slowly but surely on the other side too.. and it's sad.

Men, like women, absolutely deserve space to talk about their experiences, their issues and the pressures they face without being mocked or dismissed... being a man in today's society CAN be difficult- the problem isn't, and has never been, with men having a voice. It's what SOME of them are choosing to do with that voice. I don't think it's ever right, on either side, to blame the opposite sex as a collective for your hardships. I don't like it when women do it to men, I don't like it when men do it to women... because even if you've had bad experiences with the opposite sex, that doesn't mean all your issues are caused by the entirety of that sex- the vast majority of people are just going about their lives. Self-reflection doesn't have to equal resentment.

I liked that there wasn't a bunch of pointless narration here and that the idiocy kind of spoke for itself- I also liked the fact that Louis allowed them to have their say instead of immediately resorting to confrontation. It's an interesting one actually- I do think its focus was somewhat narrow, and I do think there needed to be a more of an in-depth look about the root cause of what's driving people to the deep end of the manosphere, BUT what I appreciated was that they didn't force a narrative that talking about men's issues was wrong- it showed how quickly some online personalities take real frustrations and turn them into a business model built around anger. I think the sad thing is that underneath the content, some of these individuals probably are genuinely lonely, insecure, confused about changing social conversations and I think those feelings DO deserve compassion... but some of these people take those vulnerabilities and turn them into a product, because they know anger gets clicks.

The answer to the problems men face is NOT to pretend that men have no problems, and it's also not to create a space where empathy is mocked and hostility celebrated- men deserve better spaces than that, women deserve better than being used as scapegoats, and society deserves better than using one group's suffering to attack another, otherwise the world just becomes one big game of 'I know you are but what am I?' The manosphere as a concept is really interesting in theory- it didn't fail because men wanted a space of their own- it failed because too many people decided that space was for anger rather than growth, understanding or support. It had the opportunity to become something genuinely positive but it evolved into a place where everybody loses.

I'm sure some people will read this and think 'Christina's just a misandrist who hates men'... no. I don't...  not even slightly. Men do experience prejudice, being mocked for vulnerability, societal expectations that they should always be strong, successful, emotionally bulletproof; not being taken as seriously if they're victims of crimes such as DV etc- those issues matter. YOU, random man who's reading this, MATTER. But you don't improve men's lives by teaching them to resent women. You don't create confident, emotionally healthy men by convincing them kindness is weakness and cruelty is strength. The 'sphere takes real problems and then offers the worst possible solutions and  I can't condone that. A young man feeling lonely? The answer should be helping him build friendships, confidence, communiation skills- a sense of purpose, rather than telling them half the population is his enemy... I'm autistic, I get it- but one of those women could end up being his best friend. Young men who are struggling and genuinely feel lost, do deserve better than being laughed at, but they also deserve better than being exploited by people who turn their frustration into a moneymaking machine... somebody who has no meaningful advice beyond 'be angry at women' is making money by keeping men miserable- that's just a sad state of affairs. I understand that I'll never experience the world from a man's perspective, but I can sympathise and try my best. I would say the exact same thing in the other direction (although I do doubt they'll make a doc about misandrist grifters any time soon)- I don't like when men blame women for everything wrong in their lives nor do I like when women blame men for everything wrong in theirs. There are some women online who believe every problem they face is because of men as a group, who reduce them to stereotypes and act as if every man is responsible for the actions of a small minority, and I can't condone that either because men and women are on the same team. The idea that society improves by one gender winning over the other is ridiculous- we have far more in common than the internet would like us to believe. That's the point of being an egalitarian- everyone has struggles, we all deserve dignity, and nobody benefits from turning half of humanity into a villain. The future isn't men vs women- it's men and women working together to create something better.